To the one I cannot forget
I had to move on. So I did whatever I had to. Left you, the city, everything tainted by you. On the night when you promised you’ll never leave me. And hurt me When you returned my gift maybe i did a blunder but this was your trust ?
you told me the morning after, that it’s the only thing you remembered about the night.
How was I to know you take drunken promises so seriously, when you broke all the others?
You’re everywhere. In a city so far and different from ours. I walk the streets and it feels like traps set up by my memory, driving me back to you. You’ve never been here, you once told me you hate it. Which is why I picked a home here, to fall in love with it, and everything you’re not.
I still cannot get rid of you. Distance, silence, distractions, does any of it work? My mind cannot stop looking back, finding the stupidest relations to trigger an unnecessarily detailed memory about you
Was there anything we’d not spoken about? Because I cannot escape you. In grocery aisles, or petrol pumps. . I wish I hadn’t seen, talked, thought so much with you. I wish you’d left something, anything for me to discover, to discuss, to dissect. I wish you hadn’t spoiled everything for me.
I sigh, and click my pen. An annoying habit I picked up from you, on a pen I stole from you. I wish I could cleanse myself of you, delete this history. Your name on my phone has changed back to what it was, when we’d only met. Can we go back to that acquaintance, in my head?
I tell myself I’m over you. That I’ve moved on, I’ve started afresh. But have I?
I hate songs now and you haha know you more than anyone else
Have I moved on, or just moved away?