I practice as a nurse, and many a times I have nursed primi-gravida girls during child delivery. " I hope to see you soon for another child ." It is a statement I shower each of them. You must have thought of their answer after the labor pains.
And how many times have we heard " I told you not to do it ," When did the word ‘NO’ lose its courtesy & changed meaning to ‘yes’? This is the word that has attributed to almost all the date rapes. It is the same answer that has left most in tears and pool of blood. It is the last most genuine word in most tongues before suicide took them to rest.
This is the same last word that my own Dad heard from me. As I lay on the bed, wet of tears and voice getting hoarse. Or else it is the last word I can remember to have said before all went dark. The date and time stands like a bullet wound in my mind. Woke up in shock, both psychological and hypovolemic.
For weeks and months my mind was a war-field. Fight between thought of suicide vs homicide. To me he seemed Lucifer ( lightest word I’d use ). My Faith in my religion dawned to seem have gone with my virginity. My smile disowned me and my courage failed me too. But they say when a door closes ,… Nightmares of trauma, death, and thought of the ordeal found a home in me. Fear and fright held my very last nerve.
Didn’t he understand my ‘NO’? Maybe I was not persistent… Maybe I was not firm… Or just maybe, maybe I was not clear to him. My dad happened to be my company at home in most of the days. Mum was a busy lady for her family. However much I tried to explain to her about my insecurity, she brushed it off. Many are the times she asked me to remain behind and make dad his lunch and supper while she travelled. I insisted NO, but to her that was a Yes. Since when? When did the Harvard University Literature Department approve this change in linguistics too?
Maybe it was because I did not sound hurt when explaining the ordeal to her. Maybe that was why she took no action…no…she did act, She promised it would not happen again. And the poor girl was left in the hands of the man she wanted dead, gone and read about. The man whose smile made my heart bleed. The man who loved to see my face in tears. Whose only matter of need was to empty his epididymis.
Life is a mess, Shit happens, and maybe that was shit. But my dad did not die, neither did I succeed to commit suicide. My tactics always failed. In this ordeal am not alone. It is 10 years ago, and to date I break down upon speaking about this.
I may have escaped death, but am sure not all others escaped. Just because when she said NO, he took it for a YES. He let his mind take an answer preformed in his mind. Because he shut down his ears to the cry, she turned down and now gone. Because she said NO to sex she is history, and because she said NO to his thirst, her private life was made a Highlight Exposé as peers and beers laughed at her. Judging eyes and accusing tongues gave her a ride to her death.
ALL BECAUSE HE PREFORMED A YES AND DIDN'T AFFIRM TO HER NO !!!