Endgame has been released. Few days before the release, when I was booking my tickets, I was really sad because there was no morning show in English in my city. The earliest was 6:10 pm. The movie is so long that it would have ended by 9:30 or so. When I shared my problems with my (male) friend, he said that I was a modern girl and 9:30 is not too late. I answered him in just two lines: yes, I’m a modern girl but this is India and it’s better to be safe than sorry.
As a modern girl, I’ve always spoken for what I believe. I have always talked about independence and sometimes fought for it with my family. I have a very logical thinking for most cases. I have always been a rebellious child. Many times I’ve changed the way the elders used to think about a topic, positively. But there’s one thing I never argue with my family about. I’m not allowed to be out of my house after 8 pm. And I have never rebelled against it. I don’t know whether this fact makes me less modern or more practical. I don’t know whether it’s normal but when I walk a street alone, I am always afraid. If I see someone staring at me, I feel suspicious. At night, I ride my scooty so fast just to reach home as soon as possible.
I don’t know when I started being afraid of strangers but these daily report of rapes and harrassments are not helping. It’s been few days since that question but it’s still storming my mind. If all these thoughts make me less modern? If I was more modern, would I have been safe on the streets? I have a dream of riding my scooty on empty road, in moonlight and somehow I have no will to fulfill it.