Hey how are you the bubbly girl is no more why so
Firstly, you need to stop taking it as an insult. When you were a kid, your geography teacher had once told you “you need to see a brain doctor” when you were up to one of your backbencher antics and the whole class had laughed out loud. There was less to no acceptance then. But things are different now.
When someone asks you to take therapy, it’s because they see signs in you that the mirror doesn’t see. As a matter of fact, the mirror isn’t even the most reliable diagnostician when it comes to catching a mental illness but we end up basing our life decisions on that.
Secondly, your masculinity isn’t at risk. Your testosterone levels don’t take a hit when you seek help out. You have more or less reached the saturation point of people reacting to your behaviour and realistically, the people around you have reached their saturation point to act as a part-time therapist by taking turns.
I know it’s difficult to open up to a stranger, to really get talking. But your friends and family are exhausted. Neither can they see you like this nor can they keep taking up the responsibility of your mental health when they have theirs too to tend to. And they can’t leave you to fend for yourself. Every time you say you’re okay and that you’re doing fine your actions don’t mirror your words.
We lose people on a daily basis to illnesses that are not in our control and I can’t see you like this where your helplessness has engulfed you to reveal a picture of numbness that is equal parts restless. The mirror has ways to lie that you won’t be able to catch. And so does the numbness.
But like they say, someday it’ll get better. It’s not a promise. But it’s hope and since that’s all I have right now, you can cut yourself a big piece of hope.