Disclosure

I’ll keep my pen inking, for I don’t know how long I have. My days get darker. My evenings swollen in silence of my room have turned to be my ‘hell’. I however choose to live my today.

How do I tell how I feel, when I myself don’t know how I feel? How do I seek help, when I have no idea what to say? I feel empty today. But yesterday was a fun day. I keep trolling through my thoughts, but I seem to get nowhere. I tried to speak to myself, but I feel like am making it all up.

Am a Nurse, don’t be surprised, but barely can I find myself. Tried to make my days better with meds, but can’t do this for life. Am trying, yes I am. Am hopeful to see my night with no urge to cut. Am hopeful to sail into dreams without an urge to hurt my arm again.

I can barely be the psychosocial supporter to my clients and friends. Little do I wanna get to hear from them. I feel incompetent to handle a client. I feel weak to give a shoulder.

But I live on hope. Hopeful that tomorrow I’ll wake up a better nurse. That tomorrow I will smile again and not want to look back. I hope I will. Am hopeful one day I will appreciate my diagnosis. That from then I’ll fight a known disorder and not myself again. I hope.

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This is brilliant in many aspects
Also
The point of view of - Nurse
Yes, it’s different and so real. A nurse and doctor often assumed to be happy to see patients and cases to make some money or charge for any service a little extra.
But, actually a lot doctors and nurses really wish to have one single day in whole year, without seeing any casualties. That’s, really hard. Also, such life sometime become so uncomfortable and mess up a lot things in life.

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Thank you so much.

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