INSPIRED BY PABLO NERUDA’S:
I LOVE YOU AS CERTAIN DARK THINGS ARE TO BE LOVED, IN SECRET,
BETWEEN THE SHADOW AND THE SOUL:
I loved you for the raw fleshy glory of forbidden desires,
the impetuous ardor in your eyes, bodies fading into fusion,
a frightening compulsion, a sweet surrender, mi amor, mi amor !
I remember my body next to yours, ready, waiting in the dark
fire at the core, melding into an embrace
that consumed every inch of our skins.
Loneliness and desire oozing through each pore
till you remembered to love me some more,
as you reclaimed every inch of my skin.
My soul couldn’t wait to rebirth, I was greedy for you then,
couldn’t wait for another baptism
to sanctify every inch of my skin.
I accepted life without any questions
knowing you too were trapped in an orbit of compulsion
to possess every inch of my skin.
In quivering ecstasy of total fulfilment,
you turned on your side and slept like a child,
while I waited for sleep to reclaim every inch of my skin.
My body will not survive the ravages of time
nor the promises of an imaginary eternity
keep me waiting and wanting.
My inside is full of a hollow that grows inside me filling that secret space
where only you could enter and the hope of true love seeded.
Now the pregnant silence of the soul speaks of stillbirth.
Dark thoughts overshadowing past shadows,
awaken my dark feminine, but this dark medicine
cannot be drunk this sunlit morning
I hate to say this, I am obsessed as I call out to you,
my long lost lover. You left me at a place of no return
with wounds on me that need healing.
The love I harbor for you saddens me,
my tears falling into life’s darkness, as I carry on loving you
torn between the shadow and the soul.
Copyright@ Dr. Sunil Kaushal
WHEN YOU BECOME ME
Love it was, when desires became life
the Self journeying within the self.
Ovum to embryo to fetus
source to substance, form to feelings
fecund fountains flowing,
through nine velvety lunar months
with dexterous artistry
my image in entirety
crafted, chiseled, carved,
yet without me starved.
It was love then, throbbing, pulsating
nourishing streams nurturing,
love coursing a chord
conjoining body within body
in the primal cave safely ensconced
before the miracle of birth
dictates different paths
traversing the same earth.
Love it was
engorged twin orbs gushed forth
cascading moonbeams bathed in filial fragrances
butterfly kisses caressing
cherubic rosebud latching lustily,
honeyed manna suckling hungrily,
tiny fists fondling, stroking their world,
cuddling, gulping in primordial delight
day or night.
Love it will be
when treading time, having grown
spring will step on paths unknown
cords of desire holding your hand
step into an enchanted land
silently cross the threshold of another
into eager arms and heart of a lover
dreams of a new life, a family, a home
but Karma thwarts with plans of its own.
A day will come
when you will become me.
Time stealing raven,
your hair will silver turn
with unshed tears
when eyes will burn
slowing your steps
legs totter and shake
when decades old bones
will stiffen and ache.
A vacuum where Love should have been
remind how you scoffed
others seeking love, understanding, acceptance
for your own need time will not turn off.
The flame burns higher
as you keep awaiting fulfilment
resenting life having cheated you.
Let not anger, self-pity, regrets
freeze your heart to stone,
cold, cynical, calloused and alone.
Let the sun teach you
about love, kissing every pore
chisel away those walls
shut not the doors
lest life turn deaf to your calls
destiny waiting round the corner
turn a blind eye
bright days turn to melancholic nights.
Listen to the plaintive
notes of the koyal calling its mate
when love’s melody haunts
the night through, till very late.
Take what life offers
the roses the thorns
remember tides ebb and crest
if pain walks along.
With open arms
with colors of love
paint a rainbow
in azure skies!
Copyright@Dr. Sunil Kaushal 30/10/2020