As I lay my head on my pillow
my mind starts to billow
outwards with thoughts of the past;
with thoughts of you.
My brain fills and spills outwards while my eyes
begin to water like waves in the ocean reflecting dark skies;
I think of all that you’ve done to me;
everything that has ripped my soul apart inside.
Yet somehow I still come back to loving you.
I come back begging for forgiveness and approval too.
And every time it ends up the same
with my brain drained and my heart shattered in a million pieces.
When this happens people look at me saying its my fault
that you made me hate of myself
my body and my mind maybe not directly
Work because of you i hate songs
I have fought for who I am.
I have beaten myself into this protective clam.
Its because of you that I refuse to come out, and honestly
its because of you, that I can’t move on